Monday, June 15, 2009

14 June 2009: Experimente Successfulle


The Framley Examiner would make occasional reference to one Professor Arthur Bostrom, who would meddle with the fabric of space and time, and declare 'Experiment Successful'. Today, I know how he feels.

We've made pasties, we've made clotted cream and so the next challenge was to make sausages. Not Bratwurst, not Italian Sausage, not Breakfast Sausage, not Hot Dogs and definitely not those 'English-Style Bangers' they make in Chicago, freeze and sell at Jungle Jim's. No, real sausages, like the award-winning ones at Uptons in Southampton. Maybe traditional pork, maybe Lincolnshire, maybe a Cumberland Ring, maybe something modern with apple or something. But the real thing.

The process began at Christmas, when we got an adapter for the food processor that would mince meat for us. First use for it was to mince our own beef, leading to a vast improvement in the quality of our mince. But overall, it was all about the sausages, and the plan was underway.

Next step: get a decent recipe. There are some places on the internet that claim to be authentic and genuine recipes, but a number of these sites offered conflicting advice - even down to which cut of pork to use - and so the answer was to go straight to the horses mouth. In this case, the afore-mentioned Upton's, home of numerous award-winning sausages.

Been to Upton's many times in the past. After Gloria moved we always got our Thanksgiving turkey on special from there, along with numerous other specials from time to time. The best experience was when Gloria wanted to do Texas-style barbecue brisket, and they brought out the entire underside of the cow (un-rolled!) and asked how much we wanted... and even knocked some of the price off because we wanted some fat with it to help it slow-cook.

So, we knew Simon and the guys there a little. And in I went, bold as you like, and stated that we now lived in the USA, so would he be willing to give us a sausage recipe or two since we can't buy theirs any more. Well, instead of telling me to head off into the sunset, he rather keenly started reeling off core recipes and variations before saying, "Tell you what, you'd better just email me and I'll send a few recipes over."

Duly did, and he duly obliged with a core basic recipe and answered a few of the controversial points in the process, including which cut to use: not belly pork, but shoulder is the best cut - a little leaner and with more flavour, especially if you can get a good pork like Wild Boar or one of the Old Spot breeds. And the meal: somewhere between ten and twenty-five percent breadcrumb, depending on how heavy or light you like the sausage.

And then finally, yesterday, the opportunity presented itself to get a good big piece of shoulder for a decent price (although no special breed), and the experiment commenced. Scaling Simon's commercial-scale recipe down by a factor of nineteen, the fun began. And you just know that I took photos so you too can join in with the joy of creating some traditional British sausages.

So, start with a nice big hunk of pork shoulder. Cut off about a kilo of it, getting a good mix of fat and lean. I stuck the rest in the freezer for later sausaging.

Cut the pork into cubes so that it can go through the mincer. I used half a kilo in the first and then half a kilo in the second run-through, which was the Lincolnshire Experiment. For each 500g of pork, I also prepared some onion (chopped up nice and small), a little salt and 1.71 grams of pepper. Our scale wasn't so great at measuring exactly 1.71 grams of pepper, but some internet calculations determined that it was equal to about three-quarters of a teaspoon. For basic Lincolnshire, add as much sage (in terms of weight, not volume) as pepper, which worked out at about one to one-and-a-quarter teaspoons of sage. For 500g of pork I used 100g of breadcrumbs, which as the mathematical among you will determine, gives a ratio of about 16%, give or take the amount of onion used. Rub it all together and chuck it all through the mincer...

Actually, I found the bread gradually got stuck in the mincer and I had to extract it manually, then mix it in by hand. Second time around, with the Lincolnshire Experiment, I just stuck the pork through the mincer and mashed the mixture together by hand afterward.


Then you just form it into sausage-shaped sausages, and fry or grill.

Hang on, what about putting it inside sausage skins? Well, this was The Experiment. The challenge was to determine whether it was going to be worthwhile making sausages at all. Only if successful would it be worth heading down to the otherwise-pretty-ordinary butcher shop on Markland Avenue and buying twenty dollar's worth of sausage skins (not sure how many hundred sausages that will allow us to make) and also the additional kitchen mixer adapter for stuffing sausage skins. And the news is...

Yes. We will be heading to the butcher and buying sausage skins. The first batch were a little too peppery due to attempting to measure 1.71 grams of pepper with a scale that only measures in 1g increments and even then is a little inaccurate... the second were the sage-added Lincolnshire variety and they were very, very good. Even Gloria liked them, and she's not the most forgiving when it comes to sausages.

So, another item ticked off the DIY food list. Next on the list - aside from more sausages - will be learning how to cure bacon. I somehow expect that to be more of a challenge.

Friday, June 12, 2009

12 June 2009: Better than Beckham

Brad and Bill here at the office were just discussing a YouTube video of a French guy doing some impressive things with a football. It's here, in case you'd like to click the link.

So I sent them back a link to this video, featuring a guy from the Channel Islands who did amazing things with a football, in a game situation, in the Premier League, for over fifteen years. Just watching it almost brings a tear to the eye: did Saints really used to be this good?



Answer: no. Le Tissier was this good. The rest of the team didn't have to be.

Friday, May 29, 2009

29 May 2009: Pinnacle

Breaking news from the Echo - Pinnacle, the group attempting to take over Saints and fronted by Saints legend Matt le Tissier, have produced the funds required to enter a 'period of exclusivity'.

As I understand it, this means that they've paid half a million quid (non-refundable) to be able to talk with the administrator about buying the club, without other annoying people like Sheik Hn'Vac or Barry the Briefcase getting in the way. The period lasts 21 days, and it means that the Saints staff will now finally receive their wages for the month (after being told yesterday that they would not be paid on time this month).

So, finally, some kind of positive progress has been made. I knew wearing my saints shirt to work today would help...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

19 May 2009: Returning

Just saw a flicking-through-channels news story saying Scrubs will be back on ABC next "season", although not in the autumn. Silly people, they should know when to stop making new ones.

Also saw a clip of what looked like Neil Flynn (Janitor from Scrubs) in a domestic sitcom. Sheesh. He needs to simply get his own improv show, and let him get on with it.

Finally, spent some time today toying with RDFa and Oracle's WCM. Not tying it into Spatial (for a change), but just seeing if it's easy enough to respond to Google's 'Rich Snippets' requirements (it is, but Rich Snippets is, presently at least, rubbish). Learned much more about the FCK editor than Rich Snippets, but overall an interesting exercise.

The question really is, will people start marking up HTML as RDFa just because Google says so? You'd assume yes, but without even FOAF support, you have to ask what the point of it all is.

Postscript: Saints saga drags on, Leon Crouch currently personally keeping the club afloat. One day there'll be some news, and the longer it draws on, the more likely it is that the news will be 'liquidation'.

Friday, May 15, 2009

15 May 2009: Eggface

Note to non-Saints followers: this blog entry also contains information about romantic fiction and a story about a silly man who was hospitalised by an egg, so read on.

According to the Daily Echo, today is D-Day for the front-running bid for Saints.

The Matt Le Tissier-led Pinnacle consortium will either be announced as the preferred bidder, or will be removed from the negotiations altogether. Elsewhere the Stock Exchange has received an announcement that Southampton Leisure Holdings, the parent plc of the football club, has not and will not be getting new ownership and has therefore been wound up. So - live or die time for the football club.

On the other hand, they've been saying that for weeks - but at least this time it seems something might be happening in terms of ultimatums if nothing else. The question will be: who's going to end up with egg on their face?

(The answer, apparently, is Rangers defender Kirk Broadfoot, who is currently out injured following an incident in which an egg he was cooking exploded in his face, and he had to be taken to hospital.)

In other news, my sis won an award for her new book 'Tug of Love' which isn't even out until August! Well done, er, 'Allie Spicer'...

Update 11.49am Eastern: No news as yet from Mr Fry, the administrator, but the mood on the Saints Web Forum seems to be dropping through the floor as the club suddenly seems a whole lot closer to being liquidated than previously thought.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

13 May 2009: Grown-up

For the UK audience, it was Mother's Day here on Sunday. I know, I know...

As a result, they were giving out carnations at church. Not just to the mums but to all females (or at least all who wanted one). This led to an interesting exchange between myself and one little girl, whom I saw carrying a carnation around to give to her mother.

Me: Is that flower for me?
Little Girl: No, it's for my mommy.
Me: Where's my flower then?
LG: You don't get one.
Me [incredulous]: Why not?!
LG: Because... they're only for grown-ups.

So, it seems I have discovered the secret of eternal youth without even realising it. Still, I wasn't sure whether to be grateful to the little girl or not, as it made me think: sheesh, I'm thirty-four years old - at what point do I qualify as a grown-up?

I'm sure Bob Dylan wrote a song about that once.

Postscript: Can it be that Google is actually a little bit afraid of Wolfram Alpha? This report from ZDNet shows that Google are attempting to rush out something that is still very much in the incubator phase for fear of losing at least some key parts of its searching audience to the more semantically-minded tool of Professor Wolfram. Personally I'm still disappointed with both tools, but maybe it will continue to push the semantic agenda to the point where people start taking it seriously.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

6 May 2009: Phoenix

Well, maybe.

BBC regional news 'South Today' reported that a deal is imminent to save Saints, which is nice because according to last week's Guardian article, Saints should have gone under about two days ago. But they haven't, and rumours persist, and something seems to be happening, and yes one of the consortiums does have the backing - and, possibly, membership - of one Matt Le Tissier, the nearest thing there is to a living legend in the world of the Saints.

So Jeff you'd better get your bid in quickly. I'm thinking ten quid and a couple of Atlanta Braves tickets should do it.

No, hang on. Better leave the Braves tickets out of it, the way the season is going so far.

Postscript: Not much time to write as I'm at the IOUG Oracle conference in Orlando, talking mainly about the Semantic Web and seeing if anyone will listen (looks promising on the back of today's presentation), but I noted a recent comment on one particular blog I wrote in November last year. Thanks, Chris!