17 November 2009: Mars

Thanks to the continued copyright-busting wonder that is YouTube, I was able to see the latest Doctor Who yesterday, in pretty high quality. (Note: I've learned that most things appear on YouTube at some point, but they won't be there long and so you have to move fast).

All a bit weird and sadly I wasn't massively impressed. However, I suspect this is because we've been spoiled since 2004 in that overall the production, the scripts, the acting... it's all been exceptional, and we're so used to amazingly high standards that we ignore the excellence and focus on the bits-that-aren't-quite-as-good-as-Blink.

Still, though, the Doctor didn't do much for the first five (of seven) sections on YouTube, while everything around went wrong, and then he decided to turn into an all-powerful Time Lord (a little like the Master) and change history. A little. And it was such a shift that I actually saw it coming.

This is very unusual for me with plot-twists: I never see them coming, ever. I get into the story, try to enjoy it, even if it's poor... but here it was hard not to think 'oo, why are the fires burning when there's no oxygen' and 'domes with plants, reminds me of Silent Running' and 'I'm sick of him saying I can't do anything, I can only imagine that's going to change later in the episode'... and it did.

Anyway, more interesting was the teaser for the Christmas specials, and the rumours surrounding it:

• John Simm in a hoodie as the Master, with the manic laugh but without a beard. Mrs Master to be present also.
• Bernard Cribbins as Wilf and Catherine Tate as Donna.
  
• Timothy Dalton as a major Time Lord... (President? Rassilon? Meddling Monk?).
  
• Implying the return of Gallifrey. Possibly.
• Other Time Lords revealed as having survived the time war.
  
• Flash-back scenes of recent companions (Billie Piper allegedly seen on-set, along with Elizabeth Sladen and a few others).
• Something about the Medusa Cascade and the Time War no longer being time locked thanks to the crazy Dalek in the Davros epiosodes.
  
• The universe to be set 'back to normal' - ie pre-2005 series, maybe pre-Time War - for the new series in 2010 with Matt Smith as the eleventh Doctor.
  

More out-there rumours include the return of the Mara (a snaky-thingy evil thingy I remember from Peter Davison's days), Donna to be revealed as a Timelord (possibly Romana), the Timewyrm making a surprise jump from novel-canon to TV-canon and all sorts of other stuff from Doctor Who lore.

Thing is, Russell T Davies, even in his final fling as chief bloke, has a habit for writing stuff that's simple and that might look good. Nothing deep and complex and science-fictiony - it's mainstream entertainment and that's how it works. In the same way as he couldn't begin the 2005 series with a regeneration scene (how many folks would have said 'what's that about then?' and turned over to watch Red Dwarf re-runs on Dave instead?), he can't really bring in Timewyrms and Maras and all that stuff... can he?

I suppose the Autons made it in that first episode, and nobody much remembered them.

Still - hopes are high that the final episodes for David Tennant will be good and a fitting send-off. They've already said that they're doing things with the Doctor's character that they can't normally do - because everyone knows the end is near for him. So let's see how far, and how creatively, they're willing to push it.

Meantime news from here is that I'm busy (apologies for lack of blogs), have made bacon that turned out ok-but-salty, playing football (six-a-side) every Tuesday for a team called the 'GSE Hooligans' (that's what Google's for, remember) and there's some American thing called Thanksgiving next week that seems to involve turkeys but not presents.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

3 November 2009: Champion

This blog is about many things, and one of the emerging features this year has been my occasional transcendence into the realm of Amateur Butcher. Not content with having a big cleaver knife with which to cut up chickens, I've also dabbled in sausage making and, as soon as a supply of cure #1 arrives tomorrow, a little bacon curing too.

But the master if the art, as you will know if you read the previous blogs or clicked the link above, is Simon Broadribb from Uptons of Bassett in Southampton. And now, not content with winning Champion Sausage and all manner of other national UK butcher awards, he's had a short film made about him and his bangers, including the process (but notably not the recipe or the quantities... I guess you have to go in and ask for those in person...)



And don't forget, it's British Sausage Week all week, even here in Kokomo. Better get down to Country Choice and get some more sausage skins...

20 October 2009: Comparison

Gareth asks whether the Saints position is cheering me up any, given my latest moan about Argyle. Yes, it is.

If you remove the ten-point penalty saints had to overcome, then they'd be just outside the playoff places. The word is that Saints are starting to play with confidence, not to mention goals, and I'm no longer worried about their position at all: they look stable, with good players, and given the statement by the Chief Executive, it seems investment will continue to come as they build their way up the league.

Saints will be back in Prem in three to four years. I can't see it any other way.

Argyle, conversely, are in the league above Saints right now, and worked very very hard to get there. But, as has always happened before, they're looking like they're going to blow the position and go back down rather than use it as a base camp to launch an assault on the Premiership. It's frustrating because (1) I've seen it before (1986-1992 - and it's happened a lot in the past, 1975-77, mid-60's, late 50's, early 50's) but also (2) this board and set of owners seem to actually have some ambition. Sir Roy Gardner, along with the Japanese blokes, if they organise themselves and stop bickering, really could lead Argyle to great things.

That begins with having a stable management setup this season to really use the players Argyle presently have (and it's not a bad team, even without Seip, who's the best defender on the books but who won't come back while Sturrock is at the club). And from there, you stay up this season, then build in the summer and put together a team that's difficult to beat, and then a team with a goalscoring edge, and from there you make a run for the playoffs.

Going down seems a relatively small thing, but it generally results in any decent players leaving, the team fragmenting and the Premiership dream being pushed back about five years. Because then you have to build a team to get out of League One, and for that you need a good management team, etc etc.

And as wonderful as Sturrock's first spell was at Argyle, he really seems to have lost the dressing room, the fans and most importantly a LOT of football matches. If, as seems likely, Argyle go back to the bottom of the division this week, it's hard to see how things can be turned around without removing Sturrock and his team.

And maybe Paul Mariner - a well-respected coach in the US - will help. Maybe he'll be allowed to bring in his own people. Or - and here's my fear - maybe he's a replacement for Kevin Summerfield and he'll stay a while before falling out with Sturrock and leaving.

Something more major has to change than the assistant. If not, it's back to division three and the cycle begins again.

18 October 2009: Coach

And it's confirmed: Paul Mariner is the new 'Head Coach' of Plymouth Argyle.

Following yesterday's defeat at Blackpool (and given the speed of the announcement this morning, you have to imagine the decisions were all made beforehand, irrespective of yesterday's result), Argyle have announced that 56-year-old legend Mariner is coming back.

Question is, of course, what exactly is his role?

Because the problem is this: Sturrock remains at the club. The official statement says that Sturrock will now be 'assisted' in his duties by Mariner (who, by the way, was a legendary player but as a coach has only risen to the dizzying heights of assistant coach to a Major League Soccer side), which at least explains Kevin Summerfield's departure earlier this week. But can it work? Will Mariner be coach/almost manager and Sturrock as Director of Football with less of a hands-on role? It hasn't exactly been a successful model in English football in the past, although it works ok in Europe.

Beyond the Mariner appointment, it seems there's been some kind of relationship built between Argyle and Mariner's former club, the New England Revolution. Argyle chairman Sir Roy Gardner said:

The two clubs have agreed a first step of a potential ongoing relationship with a plan that a number of the New England Revolution younger stars will join Plymouth for a few weeks for joint-training sessions later in the season.

So maybe it'll be a wonderful thing and Argyle will rocket up the league. But given that yesterday's first goal conceded was scored for Blackpool by Marcel Seip, there might still be a problem. Seip is an excellent defender who fell out with Sturrock recently - as a result he was sent on loan to Blackpool, and he was allowed to play against Argyle yesterday, and probably enjoyed scoring against us. Add to that names like Stack, Walton, Easter and several others I can't think of this early in the morning - the problem right now (at least, the reason for the problem, if you define the problem as being 8 points from 12 matches) is Sturrock.

Put simply, if Sturrock stays - in whatever capacity - Seip isn't coming back.

And maybe this is a long term plan to slowly replace Sturrock with Mariner but right now what Argyle need isn't a legend from the past (unless, possibly, he's going to get his boots on and play up front), and they don't need a youth feeder arrangement with an MLS side, and they don't need a reshuffle of coaching titles. They need points, they need clean sheets, they need confidence. And while I respect the board and think they actually do have both the ambition and the resources to match the ambition, this whole approach smacks of amateurism, or at least missing the point.

When you look at the hard facts, Kevin Summerfield has been replaced by Paul Mariner as Sturrock's assistant. That's the sum total of what has happened. And now everything's fixed and solved, right?

That's what I thought.

12 October 2009: Mariner

Rumours have been around for a fortnight, but it seems to be getting more credible by the day.

Paul Mariner, former England striker and Plymouth Argyle protege back around the time of my birth, might be coming back to Home Park at the age of 56. Not, sadly, as a centre forward but as a coach of some description.

He was first touted as being a 'Club Ambassador' in the attempt to get games in the 2018 World Cup, were England to be named hosts, played at Home Park. Then rumours surfaced that Paul Sturrock was to be sacked due to Argyle's astonishingly long winless run, and Mariner was the man to take over. Then Argyle won two in a row, so that rumour died down a little.

But then a news story came up that Argyle had approached Mariner's current employer, the New England Revolution, with a view to Mariner becoming 'Technical Director' at Argyle. So there was more to this than met the eye.

And so now, over the last few days, the UK news outlets are getting hold of it and it seems that some kind of announcement of some kind of change is imminent. One rumour is that Sturrock will move up to 'Director of Football' with Mariner coming in as Head Coach - just like Saints with Steve Wigley and Sir Clive Woodward. Which was arguably the biggest managerial screw-up and disaster of Rupert Lowe's tenure at Saints, and that's saying something.

The other, more substantiated rumour, is that Mariner will come in as Sturrock's assistant, replacing Kevin Summerfield. That one comes from the Plymouth Evening Herald and so might just have a grain of truth to it.

Hmm... I wonder what Billy Rafferty is up to these days?

Postscript: The Daily Mail version of the story lines up with the Herald's assessment of Mariner as new assistant, but stops short of making it clear whether his appointment will cause cancer or cure cancer.

6 October 2009: Perfect Gift

1 October is the busiest day of the book retail year, I've read. All the Christmas books come out, essentially all those big pointless hardback ones 'written' by celebrities that mainly contain glossy photos and aren't actually about anything.

But it was also the release date for the most anticipated award-winning romantic fiction debut novel of the year, and as the author is my sis, it's time to remind everyone that it's a perfect birthday, hallowe'en, Thanksgiving or Christmas gift, all for only £4.99 (or £5.99, depending on where you buy it). Locations to buy include Your Favourite Book Shop (if you're in the UK) or, of course, online.

Good webby places to look presently seem to involve Play.com and, to a lesser extent (because they're already out of stock) Amazon.co.uk. One place you probably want to avoid is the US Amazon site because (as shown above) the book has been rather substantially marked-up. I'm thinking of writing to the seller and asking whether this novel is a Fair Trade product and a good percentage of the tag price actually goes to the producer. Somehow I doubt it.

The best bit is that the shipping still costs $3.99. So that's how much delivery costs, the rest is just all about the price of the book...

If you're in the US, bookstores will order it if you give them the ISBN number (ISBN-10: 0755352939, ISBN-13: 978-0755352937) and if you have friends at a library, maybe you can pull a few strings?

Meantime I just read this morning that there will be new rules in the US for bloggers endorsing products before too long, stating there must be full disclosure of any connection to the product maker or any benefits received. Therefore I'll take advantage of the currently opaque rules and just openly state:

BUY THIS BOOK, IT'S BRILLIANT!!!

17 September 2009: Batcave

Don't wish to harp on about this blog getting hits from all over the world (mainly because it's not happening so much this week) but have to mention one hit that arrived earlier today:

"Batu Caves, Wilayah Persekutuan arrived from google.com.my on "This AKTing Lark: July 2007"

Now that intrigued me. Was someone really visiting my blog from a cave? And how coincidental could it be that it bears a name almost identical to that of an iconic 1960s TV show location?

Actually, a Google Maps search revealed it to be in Malaysia, in fact a location on the outskirts of Kuala Lumpar in what looks to be a fairly densely urban (not to mention foggy) area. Which is still quite exciting, although somehow disappointing given my probably unrealistic hopes that my blog was, in fact, being visited by Batman, or at least by some bored person in a cave with no running water but a decent broadband connection.

On a somewhat related note, nephew Jamie is four years old today and has proclaimed that when he grows up, he's going to be yellow bat. Puts all my ambitions to shame.