23 March 2007: Loo Roll

Here in Britain we're getting excited about the forthcoming ban (100 days to go!) on smoking in pubs and restaurants (or frustrated, depending on your point of view, although frankly we found the pub experience in Ireland greatly enhanced by the lack of cigarette fumes hanging round in the air). But in Florida, things are being taken a step further.

State Senator Victor Crist (Republican) has introduced a bill to the state legislature that requires restaurants to have adequate toilet paper in their rest rooms at all times (translation notice: 'rest room' = 'loo', not just a nice place for a sit down as my nan used to think). It also requires a decent supply of soap, hot water and generally good pooing conditions in every WC. And when the bill gets passed (ha ha, passed), which it will if the initial opinion of the 'Health Regulation Committee' is anything to go by (ha ha, go) (unanimous 'yes'), it will make it illegal for Florida restaurant loos to be substandard.

Which leads to two questions. Firstly, given that we've all experienced exactly what the bill is talking about (anyone in Asda Eastleigh last Sunday? Sheesh. My shoes are still sticky.), why has nobody introduced such a bill before? If a party adopted it as a policy over here they'd getter elected quicker than you could say "reallocation of the tax burden to the slightly less well off". But secondly, and more importantly, what is the punishment for failure to adhere to this new law? Relevant community service for the owners (a la Naomi Campbell)? Alligator hunting duty (now they're no longer endangered, just 'threatened')? Of course, let's not forget Florida still has the death penalty.

Despite all this, however, Google's 'In The News' section features Gordon Brown and Britney Spears as their two top links. Somehow I never quite thought I'd see those names together, but there's definitely something amusing about it.