Tuesday, June 22, 2004

22 June 2004: Football

Watched the England game last night. Kevin invited many friends around, and I brought my duck who, due to lack of space, had to sit on my head. If you haven't seen it before, it's a fascinating sight:

It gets the usual response. People sit there looking at me for about five minutes before asking 'why do you have a duck on your head?' Last night was no exception.

Why do you have a duck on your head? asks one guy.
He likes the altitude, I reply.
Oh, I see.

Of course, the match itself will be remembered for the fat kid Rooney. Handy little player, when Everton played Saints earlier in the year he was easily the stand-out player back then. But seventy-five million pounds? SEVENTY-FIVE? It's roughly calculated that, at present, each goal he scores in the Euro champsionships adds approximately ten million pounds to his current value. If it goes on much longer, the government will be able to sell him off to pay the national debt.

He's still a bit of a chubber, though. The favourite chant about him goes along the lines of:
He's fat
He's Scouse
He's gonna rob your house
Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney

So as you might imagine, I've put it through the Babelizer to see what comes out.

it lubricates he's,
scouse of he's,
energy of he's, around its house,
rooney the end to rob of Wayne

Classy stuff. 'Fat' is translated into French as 'graisse' and comes back as 'lubricate'. Bet David Moyes never considered using Rooney as a lubricant. Maybe that's why he's worth so much?

Of course, if he scores a hat-trick against Portugal on Thursday I'll take it all back.

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