18 February 2005: Numanuma

No, not the muppet clip.

This east-European dance craze and the extremely weird video that goes with it are interesting from two viewpoints.
1. Looks like we've found the next thing in the hamster/badger lineage of weird internet dance music.
2. The guy himself looks so much like Bobby Williamson, manager of Plymouth Argyle, that I think they may be one and the same.


Bobby Williamson


The Numanuma guy

I think we should be told.

14 February 2005: Next

Iran? Surely not!

Jack Straw said a few weeks ago: "I don't see any circumstances in which military action would be justified against Iran, full stop." 'Inconceivable' was a word he also used, and he wasn't just talking about the UK, he was talking about the US.

So these spy-planes being flown over Iran are just there to aid diplomacy?

Reminder: States across the US are, one by one, introducing legislation that states if you're male and you want a driving license, you have to sign up for the draft. California, Wyoming and a few others have rejected it; most have accepted. Not that there's a draft coming, of course. Because the US would only need a draft if it needed more soldiers, say, if it's current full-time army was over-stretched and the US needed to invade another country.

It's all a coincidence. It just all happens to be happening now.

11 February 2005: Dropped

The Virginia State Senate have reversed the pants decision.

Can you believe it? It's all due, apparently, not to legal problems with the bill, or criticisms of it from legislators, but simply because the world's media got hold of the story and are using it to ridicule Virginia. Which seems as sound a reason to decide on a law as any.

"Say, Mr Blair, I don't think enforced national identity cards are a good idea because they make the people answerable to the state, and not the other way around."
"Ah, but security, you see."
"But Mr Blair, what about civil rights? What about privacy laws? When did my DNA and eye-retina data become property of the state?"
"Well, security, you see."
"Hold on Mr Blair, the Port Vila Recorder in Vanuatu is using this story to make fun of Britain."
"WHAT? Reverse the bill, Mr Clarke, reverse it before it's too late!"

Tony wouldn't do that, of course. He's too busy trying to look uncomfortable on Richard and Judy to get involved with political debate. This is an election year, after all. (Isn't it?)

Final note: I returned to Veteran's League action today after many months off with the mystery virus, and we won, albeit with some rather cynical time-wasting towards the end. Saints could learn much.

9 February 2005: Underwear

The Virginia Legislature has spoken. If your underwear can be seen in public in Virginia, for instance when you bend over and your trousers move slightly down (the same action that leads to the phenomenon known as 'builder's bum') you will be fined $50.

In a move designed to tackle baggy trousers that often allow underwear to be seen, the legislators are hoping to set a trend that the rest of the world will follow. Apparently, those against the new law are complaining on a racial level - young black males tend to express this particular fashion more than anyone else.

Personally, I just think it's daft. But then I'm not planning on going to Virginia any time soon. If I go, I'll remember to pack my low-rider underwear too. They haven't outlawed builder's bum yet, and I think that is a suitable loophole.

8 February 2005: Ellen

Didn't she do well?

Maybe we can clone her.

4 February 2005: Tapping

So the whole did-they didn't-they row rages on. Did Chelsea - perhaps even Jose Mourinho himself - "tap up" Ashley Cole with regards to making a move for the Arsenal defender? According to the BBC, there are a number of possible punishments the FA could take, including a points deduction or even expulsion from the league.

Except for one thing: precedent.

Readers with web browsers (which is the vast majority, I would imagine) could click to read to my previous blogs here and here to refresh their memory of the Beattie/Aston Villa saga, which was resolved by Villa being told they were very naughty boys and they mustn't do it again. Not even a fine, which no doubt made Doug Ellis very happy. Far from setting a price that you can pay to the FA or to the club concerned if you want to make an illegal approach, the FA decided you could do so for free, provided you were willing to be told off by them afterwards for being so very naughty.

Chelsea can happily afford any price short of points deduction (frankly, they can even afford a good chunk of that and still win the Premiership) - but the precedent has clearly been set. No matter how many sworn affidavits the Sun can come up with, the precedent has been set: Villa and O'Leary were guilty, and the punishment was laid down.

Goodness me, if the FA do anything other than reprimand Chelsea (if they're even found guilty, something that can't happen yet given the lack of investigation), they'll be inconsistent. Imagine that? I can't. Surely they'll abide by precedent.

Elsewhere, good news is that it seems the death toll from the Iraqi election didn't grow, and the west are hailing the elections as a massive success. And frankly, they're quite right to do so - the Iraqi people have taken the chance to let their voice be heard. Of course, the majority are Shia, so good chance there'll be a Shia majority government elected when the votes are counted. The Shias, of course, are the notably clerical Islamic group with close ties to the current regime in Iran that the US loves so much.

Oops. Seems people like to vote for candidates they identify with at a religious level. Who'd have thought that?