11 November 2004: Woman

Today I went to the NHS Walk-In Centre over in Shirley to have my blood test, and I was informed that I was not a woman.

The significance of this was that I was unable to have the blood test. The nurse said that the form was all wrong: it was a women's form, and I wasn't a woman, so they couldn't perform the procedure. They phoned up the University Health Centre (home of the doctor who printed and signed the form), and I was informed I'd have to go back there and get another form.

So I went back across town (and, by the way, the traffic is really heavy during the day in Southampton - why is that? Where are all these people going?) to the university, where they took the form from me and came back ten minutes later to say there was nothing wrong with it. On the upside, they said they'd do the blood test for me there and then to stop me having to go across town yet again.

So, fifteen minutes later, I'm in a consulting room with a cheerful nurse who asks me what was wrong with the form.
"They said it was a form for women, so they couldn't do the test," I replied.
"What? It's to test your kidney, liver, white cell count and things like that. You've got all of those, haven't you?"
"Well, yes."
"We don't have different forms for men and women. What was the nurse talking about?"
"I don't know," I meekly replied. "I just did what I was told."

The results will be a couple of weeks in coming (by which time I hope the nasty virus has departed), but the moral of today's lesson is clear.

If you're going to have a blood test, dress up as a woman. It's much easier in the long run.