Monday, May 04, 2015

Short List: Worst Soft Drinks

Taking another quick break from the music list, here's the first of a two-parter on soft drinks. I didn't manage to get a top forty soft drinks, but I did find the "definitely didn't make the list" section was developing into a list of its own. So here are the top ten worst soft drinks in Duncan history.

10. A&W Cream Soda - Put it in your mouth and wait for some kind of flavour to emerge. I'm still waiting.

9. Jarritos Limeade - Had one of these Mexican drinks because it looked appealing and exotic in its tall bottle, and it tasted like rubbishy Co-op own-brand limeade from 1983. Very disappointing.

8. New Coke - I actually don't remember this much but I gather I have to put it in a list such as this to add grvitas and credibility to my arguments.

7. Tizer - They say it's supposed to taste like apples. I only found that out when researching this blog entry. Best feature: the image above says "Original GREAT taste" on the can, as if that is supposed to make me want to buy it.

6. Bundaberg Root Beer - Australian beverage that has the rare distinction of not only being bad, but actually being unrecognizable as root beer in terms of flavour. At a guess I'd suggest "rotting tree bark beer" or "old shoe beer" might be more correct names.

5. Club-Mate - I've never had this German drink but the sheer idea of taking South American Mate and putting it in carbonated water just sounds such a bad idea on so many fronts it had to make the list.

4. Panda Cola - Warm syrupy goodness for those long English summer days. On the upside it make good bicycle chain lubricant.

3. Irn-Bru - "Made from girders in Scotland" - oh really, that explains why it tastes so good then.

2. "Carter's" Root Beer (only available at Asda in the UK) - If you want to put an entire country off Root Beer, offer them this.

1. L&P - Allegedly made from Lemon juice and Paeroa mineral water, this dreadful concoction claims to be "World Famous In New Zealand". Kiwi culture could be much improved if they stopped telling visitors that the great things about New Zealand are stuff like this and the music of Dave Dobbyn.

The list of best soft drinks ever will follow soon... meantime tomorrow we'll be back to the regular music list at number 21 with a song that a lot of people would have in their top ten, or even higher. Not, not Dave Dobbyn.

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